Pergola
For the relationship you'd like to stay in

Couples Therapy

Most couples don't come to therapy because they stopped loving each other. They come because they keep having the same fight, or because something happened that they don't know how to move past, or because the relationship has quietly gotten smaller than they want it to be.

The therapists on this page are trained in the approaches that have the strongest research base for couples work — Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, and relational and systemic approaches. In plain terms: they're equipped to help you understand the pattern you're stuck in, get underneath the surface fight to what's actually going on, and rebuild the kind of safety that makes hard conversations possible again.

Couples therapy isn't neutral mediation and it isn't coaching. A good couples therapist will challenge both of you, make it safer for the quieter one to speak, and help you notice what the fight is actually about. It's some of the hardest and most useful work a relationship can do.

1 therapist offering couples therapy
Marcus Alvarez, LCSW, therapist in Los Angeles
Marcus Alvarez, LCSW
Silver Lake, Los Angeles

Therapy for men, couples, and the complicated middle

CouplesDepressionLife Transitions
Accepting new clients$250/session

Common questions

When should a couple start therapy?+
Earlier than most people do. The research on couples therapy — especially on EFT and Gottman — is consistent: couples who come in early, when things are strained but not catastrophic, see the best outcomes. The average couple waits six years after problems first appear, which is about five-and-a-half years too long. If one of you is thinking about it, that's reason enough.
Does couples therapy work if only one partner wants it?+
It can, but it's harder. Many therapists will meet briefly with the reluctant partner to address their concerns directly — often what looks like resistance is worry about being ganged up on. If your partner genuinely refuses, individual therapy for you is still valuable; change in one partner often shifts the whole system.
What's the difference between EFT and the Gottman Method?+
Both have strong research support; they work differently. EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) focuses on the emotional cycle — helping you understand the attachment fears driving your conflicts and move toward each other instead of away. The Gottman Method is more structured and skills-oriented — it teaches specific communication and conflict-repair tools and addresses what Gottman calls the "four horsemen" of relationship breakdown. Many couples therapists draw from both. Your therapist will match the approach to what your relationship needs.
How long does couples therapy take?+
Most couples see meaningful change in 8–20 sessions of weekly or bi-weekly work. Couples dealing with affair recovery, long-term resentments, or complex trauma histories may need longer. Your therapist will give you a realistic sense of timeline in the first few sessions.
Can we do couples therapy online?+
Yes. Video couples therapy works well, especially for couples with different schedules or who can't easily get to the same office at the same time. Some couples actually find it easier to have hard conversations from home. Your therapist can help you set up a space that works.

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